The House on Michaelmas Ave - a short story by Lee Hayton

Inspired by the marvelous house listing on Zillow. No, I definitely don't want to ask about the upstairs tenant.
25 Pins18 Followers
Welcome to my humble abode. Would you like to follow me inside for a look around? To your right, as you enter, please take note of the original streetlamp  that is included with the sale. You'll be needing that later when...Well, let's just say you'll be needing that later.

'Nightmare house' Zillow listing tells buyers don't ask about mysterious occupant upstairs

Original fittings in the bathroom, as you can see. You just can't source this type of quality nowadays. They introduced standards, or something. Funny story about that arch. My client sank his teeth into the...Hm. Actually, on seconds thoughts that story isn't so funny. Let's just move on, shall we?

Original fittings in the bathroom, as you can see. You just can't source this type of quality nowadays. They introduced standards, or something. Funny story about that arch. My client sank his teeth into the...Hm. Actually, on seconds thoughts that story isn't so funny. Let's just move on, shall we?

Again, these are all original features. This wood paneling is sturdy enough to have survived so far. I'm sure it will continue to do so long into the future. The stains? Well, yes. At some point, I'll need to explain about your upstairs neighbor. Let's just leave that for the moment, though. No, sir. I'm sure those aren't blood stains and if they are, I'm sure they're it's not virgin human blood. That would just be a crazy waste!

Again, these are all original features. This wood paneling is sturdy enough to have survived so far. I'm sure it will continue to do so long into the future. The stains? Well, yes. At some point, I'll need to explain about your upstairs neighbor. Let's just leave that for the moment, though. No, sir. I'm sure those aren't blood stains and if they are, I'm sure they're it's not virgin human blood. That would just be a crazy waste!

It says in my listing notes that this is the spare room for arms and legs but I really don't see any...   Oh! Furniture. Of course.  Lots of spare sofas arms and chair legs here, if you need them.

It says in my listing notes that this is the spare room for arms and legs but I really don't see any. Lots of spare sofas arms and chair legs here, if you need them.

Mm. I'd heard some folks say that they've seen the face of God in a Dorito but I don't see how you could possible see a demon staring up at you from the shower floor. Are you alright, sir? Would you like to step inside the cubicle so I can pour some cold water on you? Yes, that's right. Just like that. Good boy. Step inside.

Mm. I'd heard some folks say that they've seen the face of God in a Dorito but I don't see how you could possible see a demon staring up at you from the shower floor. Are you alright, sir? Would you like to step inside the cubicle so I can pour some cold water on you? Yes, that's right. Just like that. Good boy. Step inside.

Evidence of more upgrades to the premises. Pull that cord and see how quickly the fan responds.  Go on, pull it. I said, go on. Pull. It.

Evidence of more upgrades to the premises. Pull that cord and see how quickly the fan responds.

So, this is the rear cottage. It's another original building dating back to the same time period as the main complex. Oh, and look. Over there by the window you can see the original tiles. So authentic. They used to be all over the floor, of course. Do you? No, I can't see where it looks like they exploded up as some underground demon brushed it's overheated back against the floor. Quite the imagination you have there, sir.

So, this is the rear cottage. It's another original building dating back to the same time period as the main complex. Oh, and look. Over there by the window you can see the original tiles. So authentic. They used to be all over the floor, of course. Do you? No, I can't see where it looks like they exploded up as some underground demon brushed it's overheated back against the floor. Quite the imagination you have there, sir.

But why would anybody need a ladder to escape? Of course, you can leave at any time. If you wanted to leave. You don't want to leave, DO you sir?

But why would anybody need a ladder to escape? You don't want to leave, DO you sir?

Yes, the upstairs tenant does go through quite a lot of appliances. I've found, over the years, it's best not to ask him too many questions. After all, it's not like he's paying rent so you can ask him silly prying questions all the time.  Or rather, it's just not like he's paying rent.

Yes, the upstairs tenant does go through quite a lot of appliances. I've found, over the years, it's best not to ask him too many questions. After all, it's not like he's paying rent so you can ask him silly prying questions all the time. Or rather, it's just not like he's paying rent.

See. There's an unobstructed path back to the road. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at your baseless concerns.

There's an unobstructed path back to the road. I'm laughing at your baseless concerns.

Another fine example of the house's wiring. Look at it hanging there! Carrying electricity to where it's meant to go, no problem.

House Listing Attracts Attention Because Of Bizarre Buyer Requirement - Neatorama

Your eyes need checking, sir, if you'll forgive the observation. Blood would be MUCH darker, almost crimson, even in this strong light. Even fetal blood, and who can afford that, these days?

Creepy real estate: "Upstairs apartment cannot be shown under any circumstances.

That's the upstairs unit, currently occupied. I'm not allowed to show you around up there, sir. It would be against the terms of the pact I have with the tenant. I mean, deal. Sorry, I mean contract. The tenancy "agreement" if you will.   No, sir. There's no security deposit and no rent is being paid.   Well, that's up to you, but I most certainly would not recommend that you "deal with him, yourself."

A property listing for this South Carolina fixer upper is making headlines for its eyebrow-raising and rather creepy upstairs tenant.

This is a later addition to the main house. As you can see, it's been used by the previous occupants as a laundry. Sir, I'm sure those are something to do with the washing machine and I'm positive they're not the severed limbs of a captive robot.

This is a later addition to the main house. As you can see, it's been used by the previous occupants as a laundry. Sir, I'm sure those are something to do with the washing machine and I'm positive they're not the severed limbs of a captive robot.

And this is the room where the ghosts come to have a little rest after a good night's work. Just my little joke, sir. No offense. Lovely wood paneling along here, isn't it? Original pine.

And this is the room where the ghosts come to have a little rest after a good night's work. Just my little joke, sir. No offense. Lovely wood paneling along here, isn't it?

The shower. Now, there's a frood who really knows where his towel is. Moving on.

Now, there's a frood who really knows where his towel is. Moving on.

Pinterest
Search