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Hilarious!!

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this. I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat. and can't dance. OK so I would never be a stripper but I love it!

Life isn't a fairytale...

Funny Drinking Ecard: Life isn't a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

No, bitch, it's not. I'm sorry that we can't carry both Pepsi AND coke products. Maybe I should just give you what we have and laugh on the inside when you can't tell the difference. If you've never been a server, shut the hell up.

{'I'd like a Diet Coke please.' 'Is Diet Pepsi okay?' 'Is Monoply money okay?'} My feelings exactly

Your Opinion about My Life - Paying Bills

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: If you ask me to hold your drink, I will drink it.

33 Things Your Parents Will Literally Never Understand - BuzzFeed Mobile

33 Things Your Parents Will Literally Never Understand

You're not married! He divorced you.  Don't call him your husband, or my mother in law. Your mother in law. Divorce was almost 30 years ago.   Get a life OF YOUR OWN. AND A MAN,!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I would spell it out for you, but I seem to have left my English-to-Dumbass dictionary at home.

Funny: I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. I'm having wine for dinner.

Google Image Result for http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1326600344534_8427024.png

Encouragement Ecard: Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.

That bitch has more drama than a van full of drag queens on their way to a wig sale.

Free and Funny Thinking Of You Ecard: That bitch has more drama than a van full of drag queens on their way to a wig sale.

.idiotic, bat shit crazy is more like it .... there should be a vaccine or mandatory holding cells on mars for these people... the world would be a much better place for everyone! lol

Funny Confession Ecard: I don't really know what's going on with you right now but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with you being a fucking asshole.

so true

Not really funny so much as it is true - My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to (be) fat.

Once you hate someone everything they do is offensive. Look at this bitch eating those crackers like she owns the place.

Funny Confession Ecard: Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. 'Look at this bitch eating those crackers like she owns the place.

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