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Literally dying at this right now!

With my new diet I'm hoping to reach my original weight of funny thing is that was my weight when I was born

Agh!  Yes!  My mom does this and then expects me to remember what she told me.  =P

Funny Sympathy Ecard: 'Wow, I am really enjoying this 100 degree weather!

I'm not slurring my words, I'm talking in cursive.

Funny Weekend Ecard: I'm not slurring my words, I'm talking in cursive.

All these 9 year olds with iPhones, iPads, and laptops. When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.

All these 9 year olds with iPhones, iPads, and laptops. When I was I felt cool with my new markers. The crayon box with the built-in sharpener was the hippest thing ever invented back then

This is my life with my class. EVERY DAY.

Hhaha, I always say so sympathetically to my kids when they're whining, "Oooh what's that? I can't hear what you're saying through the whining.* Works every time!

I just don't like you...

I'm not anti-social. I'm selectively social. There is a difference. Selectively social means you don't social with stupid people

Sorry I'm so honest

"Some things are better left unsaid. That's usually the stuff I blurt out right away". I have no filter

I know what the problem is

Haha this is so true! Anth is one of few people I will actually talk to. I HATE talking on the phone.

I'm Not Calling You A Whore... I'm Just Saying That You've Been On More Weiners Than Heinz Ketchup.

Funny Friendship Ecard: I'm Not Calling You A Whore. I'm Just Saying That You've Been On More Weiners Than Heinz Ketchup.

Yup

Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open and thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.

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