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By the power vested in me I now pronounce you *blocked* and *deleted* You may now kiss my ass.

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

For serious

You misunderstand and get offended. then you expect ME to apologize. Someone slept in and missed GROW UP class. Tindle Lee Tindle - I don't expect you to apologise. I'm definitely not offended.

When Mommy finally gets up to spank your butt, that's when you know... Shit just got real.

So, SO true. I remember when my Mom got off the couch, I had messed up.

You don't like my tattoos? At least I can cover them up. Your face on the other hand...

Free and Funny News Ecard: You don't like my tattoos? At least I can cover them up. Your face on the other hand.

And leggings... too many people eat garbage, spend their life on the couch.... And choose leggings or skinny jeans. Lol. Please don't.

It is a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad. So true. So funny.

Funny Pictures of The Day | http://funnypictures247.com

Oh yes, there are those days! Ever+have+one+of+those+days+where+literally+everything+pisses+you+off?++Someone+could+be+like+ Look+at+that+rainbow,+ and+I'd+be+all+ Fuck+that+shit!

Talking about how big your package is?

Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your dick. bahahahah i think i peed my pants when i read this