$50,000 For The Funeral! – Joke
Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.”
Can I Buy You A Drink ?
I got chatting to a girl in a club. "Can I buy you a drink ?" I asked. "Have you not got a girlfriend ?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends." "No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her.
When an Attractive Woman took this injured Man to her House | OfficiallyBored
of the car to get a closer look. She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head." "That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that..." "Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any mo
When a Guy starts showing his Ferrari Off to an Old Man | BoredApple
cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the banker proudly. The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the proud new owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around at all the bells and whistles lining the dash
A lady goes into hospital for labia reduction surgery…
When she wakes up she finds three cards on her bedside table. The first card is from her the surgeon and says "the surgery was a complete success, get well soon" she says to herself "how nice." The second card is from her husband and says "glad...
When a Worrying Husband went to hospital to know about his Wife | OfficiallyBored
she's dead; my life won't be worth living without her!" So the doctor takes the man over to some chairs, sits him down and says "Good news: your wife is alive and is in ICU as we speak". The man jumps up and downs, shouting hail Mary's and praising god. It was then he sees the doctors stern look and
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he...
Identical Twin Girls
Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said the judge. “Well, your honor, every once in a while my sister-in-law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife looked exactly alike, every...
You Root Her Again – Joke
An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says 'who was the pig that did this to you?
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk